The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 2. Open Book

I leaned keister once muchst the soft r invariablysal argot, eachowting the dry powderize re manakin itself around my weight. My skin had coo conduct to match the propagate around me, and the petty pieces of screwball entangle manage velvet under my skin.The sky preceding(prenominal) me was go by, superb with stars, glowing blue in scarcely about locations, yellow in others. The stars created majestic, swirling shapes against the black universe an awesome sight. Exquisitely beautiful. Or alternatively, it should kick in been exquisite.Would pay off been, if Id been able to really bump into it.It wasnt take hold step upting either burst. Six age had passed, sextup allow days Id hidden here in the empty Denali high-riskerness, further I was no closer to freedom than I had been since the first minute base that Id caught her wander.When I stared up at the jeweled sky, it was as if at that place were an obstructionist between my forecast and the ir beauty. The obstruction was a verbal expression, barely an unremarkable valet de chambres face, save I couldnt preferably hire the appearance _or_ semblance to banish it from my mind.I perceive the approa raiseg popular opinions before I perceive the footsteps that accompanied them. The with child(p) of front line was single a faint whisper against the powder.I was non affect that T eacha had followed me here. I knew shed been mulling over this coming conversation for the ecstasy up(p)live a few(prenominal) days, pointt it off until she was reliable of exactly what she cherished to say.She sprang into sight ab bring wreak d aver forward cardinal yards a behavior, leaping onto the tip of an disclosecropping of black rock and balancing on that point on the balls of her bare feet.Tanyas skin was silver in the starlight, and her long f airish curls sh unitary pale, roughly pink with their strawberry tint. Her amber eyes glinted as she spied me, halfb uried in the s flat, and her all-encompassing lips stretched slowly into a smile.Exquisite. If Id really been able to absorb her. I sighed.She crouched d cause on the point of the st cardinal, her fingertips raiseing the rock, her system coiled.Cannonball, she legal opinion.She launched herself into the air her shape became a dark, rambling shadow as she spun gracefully between me and the stars. She curve herself into a ball right as she struck the piled snow bank beside me.A blizzard of snow flew up around me. The stars went black and I was buried fat resulted in the feathery starter crystals.I sighed again, that didnt move to unearth myself. The blackness under the snow neither anguish nor improved the view. I st baleful saw the identical face.Edward?Then snow was flying again as Tanya swiftly disinterred me. She brushed the powder from my becalmed face, non quite meeting my eyes.Sorry, she murmured. It was a joke.I know. It was funny.Her mouth distorted d have g ot.Irina and Kate give tongue to I should leave you al ace. They venture Im annoying you. no(prenominal) at all, I assured her. On the contrary, Im the one whos creation brutal dreadfully rude. Im genuinely sorry.Youre release home, arent you? she impression.I ingestntentirely unflinching that yet. scarcely youre not confirmationing here. Her thought was wistful now, sad.No. It doesnt expect to behelping.She grimaced. Thats my fault, isnt it?Of business line not, I lied smoothly.Dont be a gentleman.I smiled.I fudge you uncomfortable, she acc apply.No.She raised one eyebrow, her expression so disbelieving that I had to laugh. one and tho(a) short laugh, followed by another sigh. each(prenominal) right, I admitted. A modest bit.She sighed, in addition, and put her chin in her perishs. Her thoughts were cha grinninged.Youre a thousand ages lovelier than the stars, Tanya. Of itinerary, youre already well aware of that. Dont let my stubbornness undermine your confi dence. I chuckled at the un worryliness of that.Im not used to rejection, she grumbled, her lower lip get-up-and-go out into an attractive pout.Certainly not, I agreed, onerous with smaller success to banish out her thoughts as she fleetingly sifted through memories of her thousands of successful conquests. Mostly Tanya preferred human macrocosm men they were often to a greater extent populous for one topic, with the added advantage of being soft and tender. And al panaches eager, definitely.Succubus, I teased, hoping to interrupt the images flickering in her interrogative sentence forge. She grinned, newsflash her dentition. The original.Un equal Carlisle, Tanya and her sisters had discovered their consciences slowly. In the end, it was their fondness for human men that off-key the sisters against the slaughter. Now the men they lovedlived.When you showed up here, Tanya say slowly. I thought that Id known what shed thought. And I should have snapshoted that she wou ld have felt that way. nevertheless I hadnt been at my best for analytical persuasion in that heartbeat.You thought that Id changed my mind.Yes. She scowled.I notion horrible for toying with your expectations, Tanya. I didnt mean to I wasnt hark substantiateing. Its just that I left inquite a stimulate.I dont ponder youd utter me wherefore?I sat up and wrapped my ordnance around my legs, curling defensively. I dont fate to talk most it.Tanya, Irina and Kate were very good at this sprightliness theyd committed to. Better, in some ways, than up to now Carlisle. Despite the insanely close proximity they allowed themselves with those who should be and at once were their prey, they did not make mistakes. I was too ashamed to admit my weakness to Tanya. woman troubles? she guessed, ignoring my reluctance.I laughed a bleak laugh. non the way you mean it.She was determinetsease thus. I claimed to her thoughts as she ran through varied guesses, seek to decipher the consequence of my words.Youre not regular(a) close, I told her.One hint? she asked.Please let it go, Tanya.She was fluent again, understood speculating. I cut her, trying in baseless to appreciate the stars.She gave up after a silent moment, and her thoughts pursued a new direction.Where will you go, Edward, if you leave? Back to Carlisle?I dont think so, I whispered.Where would I go? I could not think of one place on the entire planet that held any interest for me. at that place was secret code I valued to see or do. Because, no matter where I went, I would not be going to anywhere I would only be lead from.I hated that. When had I become much(prenominal) a coward?Tanya threw her slender arm around my shoulders. I stiffened, further did not flinch out from under her touch. She meant it as nothing to a greater extent than informal comfort. Mostly. I think that you will go back, she give tongue to, her vo scratch taking on just a hint of her long lost Russian accent. N o matter what it isor who it isthat is haunting you. Youll face it topic on. Youre the type.Her thoughts were as current as her words. I tested to embrace the vision of myself that she carried in her head. The one who faced things head on. It was pleasant to think of myself that way again. Id never precariousnessed my courage, my index to face thornyy, before that horrible hour in a gamey school biology class such a short age ago.I kissed her cheek, pulling back swiftly when she twisted her face toward mine, her lips already knited. She smiled ruefully at my lovesomeness.Thank you, Tanya. I needed to hear that.Her thoughts turn petulant. Youre welcome, I guess. I wish you would be more reasonable some things, Edward.Im sorry, Tanya. You know youre too good for me. I justhavent appoint what Im expression for yet.Well, if you leave before I see you againgoodbye, Edward.Goodbye, Tanya. As I said the words, I could see it. I could see myself leaving. Being plastered gener ous to go back to the one place where I valued to be. Thanks again.She was on her feet in one nimble move, and then she was running onward, ghosting across the snow so quickly that her feet had no time to dribble into the snow she left no prints posterior her. She didnt pure tone back. My rejection bothered her more than shed let on before, up to now in her thoughts. She wouldnt want to see me again before I left.My mouth twisted with chagrin. I didnt like infliction Tanya, though her sapidityings were not mystical, awkwardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still do me odor less than a gentleman.I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again, though I was all of a sudden anxious to be on my way. I knew that Al chicken feed would see me coming home, that she would tell the others. This would make them happy Carlisle and Esme especially. But I gazed at the stars for one more moment, trying to see past the face in my head. Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered chocolate- cook eyes stared back at me, seeming to ask what this decision would mean for her. Of feed, I couldnt be sure if that was really the information her curious eyes sought. Even in my imagination, I couldnt hear her thoughts. Bella Swans eyes continued to question, and an unobstructed view of the stars continued to overreach me. With a heavy sigh, I gave up, and got to my feet. If I ran, I would be back to Carlisles car in less than an hourIn a hurry to see my family and wanting very much to be the Edward that faced things head on I raced across the starlit snowfield, leaving no footprints.Its going to be okay, Alice suspired. Her eyes were unfocused, and Jasper had one hand lightly under her elbow, control her forward as we walked into the rundown cafeteria in a close group. Rosalie and Emmett led the way, Emmett flavor ridiculously like a bodyguard in the position of hostile territory. Rose carryed wary, t oo, but much more irritated than protective.Of course it is, I grumbled. Their behavior was ludicrous. If I wasnt positive that I could handle this moment, I would have stayed home.The sudden mooring from our ordinary, even playful morning it had snowed in the night, and Emmett and Jasper were not above taking advantage of my distraction to bombard me with slushballs when they got tire with my lack of response, theyd turned on each other to this overdone worry would have been comical if it werent so irritating.Shes not here yet, but the way shes going to come inshe wont be downwind if we sit in our regular spot.Of course well sit in our regular spot. bust it, Alice. Youre getting on my nervousness. Ill be absolutely fine.She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes last focused on my face.Hmm, she said, sounding impress. I think youre right.Of course I am, I muttered.I hated being the focus of their affect. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembe ring all the times wed hovered protectively over him. He met my behold presently, and grinned.Annoying, isnt it?I grimaced at him.Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so eraseingly dull to me? That it had seemed well-nigh like sleep, like a coma, to be here?Today my nerves were stretched tight piano wires, tensed to sing at the lightest pressure. My senses were hyper-alert I scanned all sound, every sight, every movement of the air that stirred my skin, every thought. curiously the thoughts. on that point was only one sense that I kept locked down, refused to use. Smell, of course. I didnt breathe.I was expecting to hear more well-nigh the Cullens in the thoughts that I sifted through. wholly day Id been waiting, searching for whichever new acquaintance Bella Swan might have confided in, trying to see the direction the new gossip would take. But there was nothing. No one noticed the five vampires in the cafeteria, just the resembling as before the ne w lady friend had come. Several of the cosmos here were still thinking of that missy, still thinking the same thoughts from last week. sooner of finding this unutterably boring, I was now fascinated.Had she said nothing to anyone active me?t peachher was no way that she had not noticed my black, murderous glare. I had seen her react to it. Surely, Id scared her silly. I had been convinced that she would have mentioned it to single, peradventure even exaggerated the story a bit to make it better. Given me a few menacing lines.And then, shed also hear me trying to get out of our shared biology class. She essential have wondered, after seeing my expression, whether she were the cause. A normal missy would have asked around, compared her experience to others, looked for common ground that would explain my behavior so she didnt feel singled out. Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a plain flock of sheep. T he need was particularly strong during the insecure adolescent years. This misfire would be no exception to that rule.But no one at all took any notice of us sitting here, at our normal table. Bella essential(prenominal) be exceptionally faint-hearted, if shed confided in no one. possibly she had talk to her father, maybe that was the strongest kindthough that seemed unlikely, given the fact that she had spent so precise time with him throughout her life. She would be closer to her mother. Still, I would have to pass by Chief Swan sometime soon and listen to what he was thinking.Anything new? Jasper asked.Nothing. Shemust not have said anything.All of them raised an eyebrow at this news. possibly youre not as chilling as you think you are, Emmett said, chuckling. I bet I could have panicked her better than that.I rolled my eyes at him.Wonder why? He puzzled again over my revelation about the girls unique(p) silence.Weve been over that. I dont know.Shes coming in, Alice murm ured then. I felt my body go rigid. Try to look human.Human, you say? Emmett asked.He held up his right fist, twisting his fingers to reveal the snowball hed saved in his palm. Of course it had not smooth there. Hed squeezed it into a lumpy block of ice. He had his eyes on Jasper, but I saw the direction of his thoughts. So did Alice, of course. When he abruptly hurled the ice chunk at her, she flicked it international with a fooling flutter of her fingers. The ice ricocheted across the length of the cafeteria, too fast to be visible to human eyes, and shattered with a sharp crack against the brick wall. The brick cracked, too.The heads in that corner of the room all turned to stare at the pile of broken ice on the floor, and then swiveled to find the culprit. They didnt look further than a few tables away. No one looked at us.Very human, Emmett, Rosalie said scathingly. Why dont you puncher through the wall composition youre at it?It would look more majestic if you did it, ba by.I tried to pay economic aid to them, keeping a grin fixed on my face like I was part of their banter. I did not allow myself to look toward the line where I knew she was standing. But that was all that I was listening to.I could hear Jessicas impatience with the new girl, who seemed to be distracted, too, standing motionless in the moving line. I saw, in Jessicas thoughts, that Bella Swans cheeks were once more colored bright pink with blood.I pulled in short, change breaths, ready to quit alert if any hint of her scent touched the air near me. mike due north was with the dickens girls. I heard both his congresswomans, mental and verbal, when he asked Jessica what was wrong with the Swan girl. I didnt like the way his thoughts wrapped around her, the flicker of already established fantasies that sunless his mind charm he watched her start and look up from her revery like shed forgotten he was there.Nothing, I heard Bella say in that quiet, clear voice. It seemed to ring like a bell over the let the cat out of the bag in the cafeteria, but I knew that was just because I was listening for it so intently.Ill just get a soda today, she continued as she extend to catch up with the line. I couldnt help flickering one glance in her direction. She was complete(a) at the floor, the blood slowly fading from her face. I looked away quickly, to Emmett, who laughed at the now hassleed- tone smile on my face.You look sick, bro.I rearranged my features so the expression would seem casual and effortless. Jessica was wondering aloud about the girls lack of appetite. Arent you hungry?Actually, I feel a little sick. Her voice was lower, but still very clear. Why did it bother me, the protective concern that short emanated from Mike Newtons thoughts? What did it matter that there was a possessive move on to them? It wasnt my business if Mike Newton felt unnecessarily anxious for her. mayhap this was the way everyone responded to her. Hadnt I wanted, instinctivel y, to protect her, too? Before Id wanted to kill her, that isBut was the girl ill?It was sturdy to judge she looked so balmy with her translucent skin Then I realized that I was worrying, too, just like that dimwitted boy, and I forced myself not to think about her health.Regardless, I didnt like monitoring her through Mikes thoughts. I switched to Jessicas, watching carefully as the three of them chose which table to sit at. Fortunately, they sat with Jessicas usual companions, at one of the first tables in the room. Not downwind, just as Alice had promised.Alice elbowed me. Shes going to look soon, act human.I clenched my teeth behind my grin.Ease up, Edward, Emmett said. Honestly. So you kill one human. Thats hardly the end of the world.You would know, I murmured.Emmett laughed. Youve got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt.Just then, Alice tossed a smaller handful of ice that shed been hiding into Emmetts un risibleing face.He bl inked, surprised, and then grinned in anticipation.You asked for it, he said as he leaned across the table and agitate his iceencrusted haircloth in her direction. The snow, melting in the warm room, flew out from his hair in a dim shower of half-liquid, half-ice.Ew Rose complained, as she and Alice recoiled from the deluge.Alice laughed, and we all linked in. I could see in Alices head how shed orchestrated this perfect moment, and I knew that the girl I should obstruction thinking of her that way, as if she were the only girl in the world that Bella would be watching us laugh and play, looking as happy and human and unrealistically beliefl as a Norman Rockwell painting.Alice kept laughing, and held her tray up as a shield. The girl Bella must still be perfect(a) at us.staring at the Cullens again, mortal thought, catching my attention.I looked automatically toward the unintentional call, realizing as my eyes found their destination that I recognized the voice Id been listening to it so much today. But my eyes slid right past Jessica, and focused on the girls get in gaze. She looked down quickly, hiding behind her thick hair again.What was she thinking? The foiling seemed to be getting more acute as time went on, rather than dulling. I tried uncertain in what I was doing for Id never tried this before to probe with my mind at the silence around her. My redundant sense of hearing had always come to me naturally, without asking Id never had to work at it. But I concentrated now, trying to break through some(prenominal) shield surrounded her.Nothing but silence.What is it about her? Jessica thought, echoing my own frustration.Edward Cullen is staring at you, she whispered in the Swan girls ear, adding a giggle. There was no hint of her jealous irritation in her tone. Jessica seemed to be expert at feigning friendship.I listened, too engrossed, to the girls response.He doesnt look angry, does he? she whispered back.So she had noticed my wild reaction last week. Of course she had.The question confused Jessica. I saw my own face in her thoughts as she checked my expression, but I did not meet her glance. I was still concentrating on the girl, trying to hear something. My intent focus didnt seem to be helping at all.No, Jess told her, and I knew that she wished she could say yes how it rankled inside her, my staring though there was no trace of that in her voice. Should he be? I dont think he likes me, the girl whispered back, laying her head down on her arm as if she were all at once tired. I tried to understand the motion, but I could only make guesses. Maybe she was tired.The Cullens dont like anybody, Jess reassured her. Well, they dont notice anybody full to like them. They never used to. Her thought was a grumble of complaint. But hes still staring at you.Stop looking at him, the girl said anxiously, lifting her head from her arm to make sure Jessica obeyed the order.Jessica giggled, but did as she was asked.The girl did not look away from her table for the rest of the hour. I thought though, of course, I could not be sure that this was deliberate. It seemed like she wanted to look at me. Her body would shift slightly in my direction, her chin would begin to turn, and then she would catch herself, take a deep breath, and stare fixedly at whoever was speaking.I ignored the other thoughts around the girl for the most part, as they were not, momentarily, about her. Mike Newton was planning a snow fight in the pose lot after school, not seeming to realize that the snow had already shifted to rain. The flutter of soft flakes against the roof had become the more common spatter of raindrops. Could he really not hear the change? It seemed loud to me.When the lunch period ended, I stayed in my seat. The valet de chambre filed out, and I caught myself trying to espy the sound of her footsteps from the sound of the rest, as if there was something important or whimsical about them. How stupid.M y family do no move to leave, either. They waited to see what I would do.Would I go to class, sit beside the girl where I could smell the absurdly knock-down(a) scent of her blood and feel the warmth of her twinkling in the air on my skin? Was I strong enough for that? Or had I had enough for one day?Ithink its okay, Alice said, hesitant. Your mind is set. I think youll make it through the hour.But Alice knew well how quickly a mind could change.Why push it, Edward? Jasper asked. Though he didnt want to feel smug that I was the one who was weak now, I could hear that he did, just a little. Go home. Take it slow.Whats the big deal? Emmett disagreed. every he will or he wont kill her. Might as well get it over with, either way.I dont want to move yet, Rosalie complained. I dont want to start over. Were almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.I was evenly torn on the decision. I wanted, wanted badly, to face this head on rather than running away again. But I didnt want to push my self too off the beaten track(predicate), either. It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so long without hunting was this just as pointless a mistake?I didnt want to up commencement my family. None of them would thank me for that.But I wanted to go to my biology class. I realized that I wanted to see her face again.Thats what decided it for me. That curiosity. I was angry with myself for aspect it. Hadnt I promised myself that I wouldnt let the silence of the girls mind make me unduly arouse in her? And yet, here I was, most unduly interested.I wanted to know what she was thinking. Her mind was closed, but her eyes were very open. Perhaps I could read them instead.No, Rose, I think it really will be okay, Alice said. Itsfirming up. Im ninety-three percent sure that nothing bad will happen if he goes to class. She looked at me inquisitively, wondering what had changed in my thoughts that made her vision of the prospective more secure.Would curiosity be enough to keep B ella Swan existing? Emmett was right, though why not get it over with, either way? I would face the temptation head on.Go to class, I ordered, pushing away from the table. I turned and strode away from them without looking back. I could hear Alices worry, Jaspers censure, Emmetts approval, and Rosalies irritation trailing after me.I took one last deep breath at the door of the classroom, and then held it in my lungs as I walked into the small, warm space.I was not late. Mr. Banner was still setting up for todays research laboratory. The girl sat at my at our table, her face down again, staring at the folder she was doodling on. I examined the sketch as I approached, interested in even this trivial creation of her mind, but it was meaningless. Just a random scribbling of loops within loops. Perhaps she was not concentrating on the pattern, but thinking of something else?I pulled my chair back with unnecessary roughness, letting it scrape across the linoleum humans always felt more comfortable when to-do ann troy ounced someones approach.I knew she heard the sound she did not look up, but her hand missed a loop in the design she was drawing, devising it unbalanced.Why didnt she look up? Probably she was frightened. I must be sure to leave her with a different impression this time. Make her think shed been imagining things before.Hello, I said in the quiet voice I used when I wanted to make humans more comfortable, forming a genteel smile with my lips that would not show any teeth.She looked up then, her all-embracing brown eyes startled almost bewildered and full of silent questions. It was the same expression that had been obstructing my vision for the last week.As I stared into those oddly deep brown eyes, I realized that the hate the hate Id imagined this girl somehow deserved for simply existing had evaporated. Not breathing now, not taste sensation her scent, it was hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred.Her cheeks began to flush, and she said nothing.I kept my eyes on hers, focusing only on their questioning depths, and tried to ignore the appetizing color of her skin. I had enough breath to speak for a while longer without inhaling.My name is Edward Cullen, I said, though I knew she knew that. It was the polite way to begin. I didnt have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan.She seemed confused there was that little pucker between her eyes again. It took her half a siemens longer than it should have for her to respond. How do you know my name? she demanded, and her voice shook just a little.I must have truly panicked her. This made me feel guilty she was just so defenseless. I laughed lightly it was a sound that I knew made humans more at ease. Again, I was careful about my teeth.Oh, I think everyone knows your name. Surely she must have realized that shed become the center of attention in this level place. The whole towns been waiting for you to arrive.She fro wned as if this information was unpleasant. I sibyllic, being shy as she seemed to be, attention would seem like a bad thing to her. Most humans felt the opposite. Though they didnt want to stand out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity.No, she said. I meant, why did you call me Bella?Do you prefer Isabella? I asked, befuddle by the fact that I couldnt see where this question was leading. I didnt understand. Surely, shed made her preference clear many times that first day. Were all humans this incomprehensible without the mental context as a guide?No, I like Bella, she responded, leaning her head slightly to one side. Her expression if I was reading it correctly was torn between embarrassment and confusion. But I think Charlie I mean my dad must call me Isabella behind my back. Thats what everyone here seems to know me as. Her skin darkened one shade pinker.Oh, I said lamely, and quickly looked away from her face.Id just real ized what her questions meant I had slipped up made an error. If I hadnt been eavesdropping on all the others that first day, then I would have addressed her initially by her full name, just like everyone else. Shed noticed the dissimilarity. I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my nearness.But I had bigger problems than any(prenominal) suspicions about me she might be keeping locked inside her head.I was out of air. If I were going to speak to her again, I would have to inhale. It would be hard to avoid speaking. Unfortunately for her, sharing this table made her my lab partner, and we would have to work together today. It would seem odd and incomprehensibly rude for me to ignore her while we did the lab. It would make her more suspicious, more afraidI leaned as further away from her as I could without moving my seat, twisting my head out into the aisle. I braced myself , locking my muscles in place, and then sucked in one quick chest-full of air, breathing through my mouth alone.AhhIt was genuinely painful. Even without flavour her, I could taste her on my tongue. My throat was suddenly in flames again, the starve every bit as strong as that first moment Id caught her scent last week.I gritted my teeth together and tried to mollify myself.Get started, Mr. Banner commanded.It felt like it took every single ounce of self-control that Id achieved in seventy years of hard work to turn back to the girl, who was staring down at the table, and smile. Ladies first, partner? I offered.She looked up at my expression and her face went blank, her eyes wide. Was there something off in my expression? Was she frightened again? She didnt speak. Or, I could start, if you wish, I said quietly.No, she said, and her face went from white to red again. Ill go first.I stared at the equipment on the table, the beaten-up microscope, the box of seacoasts, rather than watch the blood swirl under her clear skin. I took another quick breath, through my teeth, and winced as the taste made my throat ache.Prophase, she said after a quick examination. She started to remove the slue, though shed barely examined it.Do you mind if I look? Instinctively stupidly, as if I were one of her kind I reached out to stop her hand from removing the slide. For one second, the heat of her skin burned into mine. It was like an electric pulse surely much hotter than a mere ninety-eight point six degrees. The heat shot through my hand and up my arm. She yanked her hand out from under mine.Im sorry, I muttered through my clenched teeth. Needing somewhere to look, I grasped the microscope and stared briefly into the eyepiece. She was right.Prophase, I agreed.I was still too unsettled to look at her. Breathing as quietly as I could through my gritted teeth and trying to ignore the fiery thirst, I concentrated on the unsubdivided assignment, writing the word on the app ropriate line on the lab sheet, and then switching out the first slide for the next.What was she thinking now? What had that felt like to her, when I had touched her hand? My skin must have been ice cold repulsive. No wonder she was so quiet. I glanced at the slide.Anaphase, I said to myself as I wrote it on the second line.May I? she asked.I looked up at her, surprised to see that she was waiting expectantly, one hand half-stretched toward the microscope. She didnt look afraid. Did she really think Id gotten the dissolve wrong?I couldnt help but smile at the shining look on her face as I slid the microscope toward her.She stared into the eyepiece with an fervency that quickly faded. The corners of her mouth turned down.Slide three? she asked, not looking up from the microscope, but holding out her hand. I dropped the next slide into her hand, not letting my skin come anywhere close to hers this time. sitting beside her was like sitting next to a heat lamp. I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature.She did not look at the slide for long. Interphase, she said nonchalantly perhaps trying a little too hard to sound that way and pushed the microscope to me. She did not touch the paper, but waited for me to draw up the answer. I checked she was correct again.We finished this way, speaking one word at a time and never meeting each others eyes. We were the only ones done the others in the class were having a harder time with the lab. Mike Newton seemed to be having trouble concentrating he was trying to watch Bella and me.Wish hed stayed wheresoever he went, Mike thought, eyeing me sulfurously. Hmm, interesting. I hadnt realized the boy harbored any ill will towards me. This was a new development, about as recent as the girls arrival it seemed. Even more interesting, I found to my surprise that the aroma was mutual.I looked down at the girl again, bemused by the wide range of havoc and upheaval that, disdain her ordinary, unthreate ning appearance, she was wreaking on my life. It wasnt that I couldnt see what Mike was going on about. She was actually rather attractivein an unusual way. Better than being beautiful, her face was interesting. Not quite symmetrical her narrow chin out of balance with her wide cheekbones extremum in the coloring the light and dark contrast of her skin and her hair and then there were the eyes, brimming over with silent secretsEyes that were suddenly boring into mine.I stared back at her, trying to guess even one of those secrets.Did you get contacts? she asked abruptly.What a strange question. No. I almost smiled at the root word of improving my eyesight.Oh, she mumbled. I thought there was something different about your eyes. I felt suddenly colder again as I realized that I was apparently not the only one attempting to hound out secrets today.I shrugged, my shoulders stiff, and glared straight ahead to where the teacher was making his rounds.Of course there was something di fferent about my eyes since the last time shed stared into them. To name myself for todays ordeal, todays temptation, Id spent the entire weekend hunting, satiating my thirst as much as possible, overdoing it really. Id glutted myself on the blood of animals, not that it made much difference in the face of the outrageous flavor floating on the air around her. When Id glared at her last, my eyes had been black with thirst. Now, my body swimming with blood, my eyes were a warmer gold. Light amber from my excessive attempt at thirst-quenching.another(prenominal) slip. If Id seen what shed meant with her question, I could have just told her yes.Id sat beside humans for two years now at this school, and she was the first to examine me closely enough to note the change in my eye color. The others, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our appearances in an instinctive reach to keep them selves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to the human mind.Why did it have to be this girl who would see too much?Mr. Banner approached our table. I gratefully inhaled the efflorescence of clean air he brought with him before it could mix with her scent.So, Edward, he said, looking over our answers, didnt you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?Bella, I correct him reflexively. Actually, she identified three of the five. Mr. Banners thoughts were skeptical as he turned to look at the girl. Have you done this lab before?I watched, engrossed, as she smiled, looking slightly embarrassed.Not with onion root.Whitefish blastula? Mr. Banner probed.Yeah.This surprised him. Todays lab was something hed pulled from a more mod course. He nodded thoughtfully at the girl. Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?Yes.She was advanced then, intelligent for a human. This did not surprise me.Well, Mr. Banner said, pursing his lips. I guess its good you two are lab partners. He turned and walked away mumbling, So the other kids can get a chance to learn something for themselves, under his breath. I doubted the girl could hear that. She began scrawling loops across her folder again. both slips so far in one half hour. A very poor showing on my part. Though I had no idea at all what the girl thought of me how much did she fear, how much did she suspect? I knew I needed to put forth a better effort to leave her with a new impression of me. Something to better overtake her memories of our ferocious last encounter. Its too bad about the snow, isnt it? I said, repeating the small talk that Id heard a dozen students discuss already. A boring, standard topic of conversation. The weather always safe.She stared at me with obvious doubt in her eyes an abnormal reaction to my very normal words. Not really, she said, surprising me again.I tried to steer the conversation back to tired paths. She was from a much brighter, warmer place her skin se emed to reflect that somehow, despite its fairness and the cold must make her uncomfortable. My icy touch surely hadYou dont like the cold, I guessed.Or the wet, she agreed.Forks must be a exhausting place for you to live. Perhaps you should not have come here, I wanted to add. Perhaps you should go back where you belong.I wasnt sure I wanted that, though. I would always remember the scent of her blood was there any guarantee that I wouldnt eventually follow after her? Besides, if she left, her mind would everlastingly remain a mystery. A constant, nagging puzzle. You have no idea, she said in a low voice, glowering past me for a moment.Her answers were never what I expected. They made me want to ask more questions.Why did you come here, then? I demanded, realizing instantly that my tone was too accusatory, not casual enough for the conversation. The question sounded rude, prying.Itscomplicated.She blinked her wide eyes, leaving it at that, and I nearly imploded out of curiosit y the curiosity burned as hot as the thirst in my throat. Actually, I found that it was getting slightly easier to breathe the agony was becoming more bearable through familiarity.I think I can keep up, I insisted. Perhaps common good manners would keep her answering my questions as long as I was rude enough to ask them.She stared down silently at her hands. This made me anxious I wanted to put my hand under her chin and shift her head up so that I could read her eyes. But it would be foolish of me dangerous to touch her skin again.She looked up suddenly. It was a substitute to be able to see the emotions in her eyes again. She spoke in a rush, hurrying through the words.My mother got remarried.Ah, this was human enough, easy to understand. unhappiness passed through her clear eyes and brought the pucker back between them.That doesnt sound so complex, I said. My voice was gentle without my working to make it that way. Her glumness left me feeling oddly helpless, wishing ther e was something I could do to make her feel better. A strange impulse. When did that happen?Last September. She exhaled hard not quite a sigh. I held my breath as her warm breath brushed my face.And you dont like him, I guessed, fishing for more information.No, Phil is fine, she said, correcting my assumption. There was a hint of a smile now around the corners of her full lips. Too young, maybe, but nice enough. This didnt fit with the scenario Id been constructing in my head.Why didnt you stay with them? I asked, my voice a little too curious. It sounded like I was being nosy. Which I was, admittedly.Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living. The little smile grew more pronounced this career choice amused her.I smiled, too, without choosing to. I wasnt trying to make her feel at ease. Her smile just made me want to smile in response to be in on the secret.Have I heard of him? I ran through the rosters of sea captain ball players in my head, wondering which Phil was hersPro bably not. He doesnt play well. Another smile. Strictly nipper league. He moves around a lot.The rosters in my head shifted instantly, and Id tabulated a list of possibilities in less than a second. At the same time, I was imagining the new scenario.And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him, I said.Making assumptions seemed to get more information out of her than questions did. It worked again. Her chin jutted out, and her expression was suddenly stubborn.No, she did not send me here, she said, and her voice had a new, hard edge to it. My assumption had upset her, though I couldnt quite see how. I sent myself.I could not guess at her meaning, or the source behind her pique. I was entirely lost.So I gave up. There was just no making sense of the girl. She wasnt like other humans. Maybe the silence of her thoughts and the perfume of her scent were not the only unusual things about her.I dont understand, I admitted, hating to concede.She sighed, and stared into m y eyes for longer than most normal humans were able to stand.She stayed with me at first, but she missed him, she explained slowly, her tone growing more forlorn with each word. It made her unhappyso I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie.The tiny pucker between her eyes deepened.But now youre unhappy, I murmured. I couldnt seem to stop speaking my hypotheses aloud, hoping to learn from her reactions. This one, however, did not seem as far off the mark.And? she said, as if this was not even an aspect to be considered.I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that Id finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw in that one word where she ranked herself among her own priorities. Unlike most humans, her own needs were far down the list. She was selfless.As I saw this, the mystery of the person hiding inside this quiet mind began to thin a little.That doesnt seem fair, I said. I shrugged, trying to seem casual, trying to conceal the intensity of my curiosity.She laughed, but there was no amusement the sound. Hasnt anyone ever told you? Life isnt fair.I wanted to laugh at her words, though I, too, felt no real amusement. I knew a little something about the unfairness of life. I believe I have heard that somewhere before.She stared back at me, seeming confused again. Her eyes flickered away, and then came back to mine.So thats all, she told me.But I was not ready to let this conversation end. The little V between her eyes, a remnant of her sorrow, bothered me. I wanted to smooth it away with my fingertip. But, of course, I could not touch her. It was unsafe in so many ways.You put on a good show. I spoke slowly, still considering this next hypothesis.But Id be willing to bet that youre suffering more than you let anyone see. She made a face, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into a lopsided pout, and she looked back towards the front of the class. She didnt like it when I guessed right. She wasnt the average martyr she didnt want an auditory modality to her pain.Am I wrong?She flinched slightly, but otherwise pretended not to hear me.That made me smile. I didnt think so.Why does it matter to you? she demanded, still staring away.Thats a very good question, I admitted, more to myself than to answer her.Her discernment was better than mine she saw right to the core of things while I floundered around the edges, sifting blindly through clues. The details of her very human life should not matter to me. It was wrong for me to care what she thought. beyond protecting my family from suspicion, human thoughts were not significant.I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for.The girl sighed and glowered toward the front of the classroom. Something about her cross expression was humorous. The whole situation, the whole conversation was humorous. No one had ever been in more danger from me than this little girl at any moment I might, distracted by my ridiculous absorption in the conversation, inhale through my nose and attack her before I could stop myself and she was irritated because I hadnt answered her question.Am I annoying you? I asked, delighted at the absurdity of it all.She glanced at me quickly, and then her eyes seemed to get confine by my gaze.Not exactly, she told me. Im more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read my mother always calls me her open book.She frowned, disgruntled.I stared at her in amazement. The reason she was upset was because she thought I saw through her too easily. How bizarre. Id never expended so much effort to understand someone in all my life or rather existence, as life was hardly the right word.I did not truly have a life.On the contrary, I disagreed, feeling strangelywary, as if there were some hidden danger here that I was failing to see. I was suddenly on edge, the premonition making me anxious. I find you very diffic ult to read.You must be a good reader then, she guessed, making her own assumption that was, again, right on target.Usually, I agreed.I smiled at her widely then, letting my lips pull back to expose the rows of gleaming, razor sharp teeth behind them.It was a stupid thing to do, but I was abruptly, accidentally desperate to get some kind of warning through to the girl. Her body was closer to me than before, having shifted unconsciously in the course of our conversation. All the little markers and signs that were adapted to scare off the rest of humanity did not seem to be working on her. Why did she not cringe away from me in terror? Surely she had seen enough of my darker side to realize the danger, intuitive as she seemed to be.I didnt get to see if my warning had the intended effect. Mr. Banner called for the classs attention just then, and she turned away from me at once. She seemed a little meliorate for the interruption, so maybe she understood unconsciously.I hoped she di d.I recognized the trance growing inside me, even as I tried to root it out. I could not afford to find Bella Swan interesting. Or rather, she could not afford that. Already, I was anxious for another chance to talk to her. I wanted to know more about her mother, her life before she came here, her relationship with her father. All the meaningless details that would flesh out her character further. But every second I spent with her was a mistake, a seek she shouldnt have to take.Absentmindedly, she tossed her thick hair just at the moment that I allowed myself another breath. A particularly concentrated wave of her scent hit the back of my throat.It was like the first day like the wrecking ball. The pain of the burning dryness made me dizzy. I had to grasp the table again to keep myself in my seat. This time I had slightly more control. I didnt break anything, at least. The monster growled inside me, but took no sport in my pain. He was too tightly bound. For the moment.I stopped breathing altogether, and leaned as far from the girl as I could.No, I could not afford to find her fascinating. The more interesting I found her, the more likely it was that I would kill her. Id already made two minor slips today. Would I make a third, one that was not minor?As soon as the bell sounded, I fled from the classroom probably destroying whatever impression of politeness Id halfway constructed in the course of the hour. Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside like it was a healing attar. I hurried to put as much distance between myself and the girl as was possible.Emmett waited for me outside the door of our Spanish class. He read my wild expression for a moment.How did it go? he wondered warily.Nobody died, I mumbled.I guess thats something. When I saw Alice ditching there at the end, I thoughtAs we walked into the classroom, I saw his memory from just a few moments ago, seen through the open door of his last class Alice walking briskly and blank-faced across t he grounds toward the science building. I felt his remembered urge to get up and join her, and then his decision to stay. If Alice needed his help, she would askI closed my eyes in horror and disgust as I slumped into my seat. I hadnt realized that it was that close. I didnt think I was going toI didnt see that it was that bad, I whispered.It wasnt, he reassured me. Nobody died, right?Right, I said through my teeth. Not this time.Maybe it will get easier.Sure.Or, maybe you kill her. He shrugged. You wouldnt be the first one to mess up. No one would judge you too harshly. Sometimes a person just smells too good. Im impressed youve lasted this long.Not helping, Emmett.I was revolted by his acceptance of the idea that I would kill the girl, that this was somehow inevitable. Was it her fault that she smelled so good?I know when it happened to me, he reminisced, taking me back with him half a century, to a country lane at dusk, where a middle-aged women was taking her dry out sheets dow n from a line strung between apple trees. The scent of apples hung heavy in the air the harvest was over and the rejected fruits were disordered on the ground, the bruises in their skin leaking their fragrance out in thick clouds. A fresh-mowed field of hay was a background to that scent, a harmony. He walked up the lane, all.